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10 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life

Posted by Kaitlin to Men's Issues
Boredom happens to the best of us, and especially those of us in long-term relationships.  That feeling that our sex life is doomed, just because we're happy staying with this one partner is fixable!  We first start to drift away from sex, then romantic encounters, and then our minds start racing about, "is this really the one?" or, "do I have to settle for this lack of love life?"  YES and NO!

There are so many factors that can affect us as sexual beings and any number of these can come into play at any moment.  How do you fix this?  It's all about switching up your stagnant routines and clearing your mind, body, and home of anything that's bad for you and your lover!  We know it can be tricky to take care of everything, but you can do it!  You can have your sex life back!  Here are our 10 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life!

1.  DE-STRESS:  Ah, stress.  It’s pretty much the #1 spoiler of all things good, right?  Prolonged stress can not only create a rift between you and your lover in the bedroom, it can just be downright bad for your health!  To clear your mind and make room for more worthy, naughty thoughts, look into meditation, yoga, and other means of de-stressing.  One of the easiest ways to de-stress is to unplug from technology!  At a certain time every evening, finish your work and then stop the buzz of electronics.  Place your smartphone on silent in the other room, shut down the
computer, and if you’re really good, turn off the tv and pick up a book!  This change from stressful tech to quiet time will create a more relaxed environment where, well, anything is possible.  Plus, the earlier you make the switch, the more free time you have before you go to sleep, if you know what I mean!

2.  DATE:  Living room feeling a little stuffy?  Tired of the same scenery?  Go on dates!  Recreate that spark that lit up your relationship and reconnect on a more intimate level.  I recommend revisiting old haunts to start - like that park bench you snuggled on 5 years ago - and then creating new date locations.  Love to eat?  Choose some new restaurants to try that you would never take your friends to.  Create your private couple’s rendezvous!  Planning exactly when and where you’re going is fine to start, but the more spontaneous you can get at day-tripping and dating, the more spontaneous you’ll be with flirtatious encounters and bedroom trysts!

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3.  COMMUNICATE:
  This really should be number one!  If you’re feeling like your sex life is fleeting, that the connection isn’t like it used to be, or just generally miss your partner, you must communicate!  Set aside some distraction-free time to sit down and calmly chat about the relationship.  Remember you’re trying to win each other over so you can be closer, not drum up negatives to fight over!  The simple act of really making eye contact and talking is lost now more than ever, but it is vital for relationship survival!  If you’re having difficulty chatting, try making a pact to share 3 positives and 1 negative each day with each other.  You will be “assigned” this task to help reinforce gratitude and positivity, while still being able to discuss something that you’d like to change.  It can be as simple as, “I got an extra lemon in my iced tea this morning,” to, “When you hold my hand in public, it makes me feel like a teenager again, and really excites me!” As long as you're talking, you're moving forward!

4.  DE-CLUTTER:
  How can you romp around the house with each other if the house is a mess?  A lot of what creates the stress in your life is disorganization and clutter, and a quick once-over will help alleviate these negative vibes!  Even subconsciously clutter can put a damper on your mood, and your home should be a sanctuary for love, and sex, and more sex!  Take a few hours on the weekends to clear out the junk mail, assign homes for clutter, and purge everything you haven’t touched in months.  We humans acquire and hold onto a lot of unnecessary stuff, so if it isn’t being used for a purpose (like pleasure), it’s got to go!

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5.  FOREPLAY:  This is a key component to reigniting your passion as a pair.  I’m not just talking about the moments before sex, either.  I mean foreplay all day!  Strut around in something a little sexier than usual and watch their eyes light up when you step into the room.  Wear his cologne or her perfume so you catch quick, arousing whiffs of your lover throughout the day.  Then, whenever you’re together, steal time for long, passionate kisses.  If you’re saying goodbye before heading to work, give them a little jolt of stimulation by “pouncing” in their lap for a long kiss goodbye!  Even when you’re just watching television, holding hands or a swift squeeze of a thigh can get your blood flowing.  Take time to focus not on the orgasm endgame, but rather on touching each other’s skin, kissing, holding each other, and gaining more closeness.  The more foreplay you introduce, the more likely you are to be really intimate!

6.  EAT BETTER, EAT TOGETHER:  Take a tip from the doctor and eat healthier!  Foods and beverages can have a serious impact on the chemicals that change up your moods!  If you or your lover is stuck in a high-sugar, high-fat, and well, bad for you diet then chances are you’re feeling sluggish.  Who wants to be intimate with someone moping around the house?  How can you be intimate when you have a terrible stomach ache, or too much alcohol in your system?  Your body just doesn't work that way!  With de-stressing, and de-cluttering, comes organization, and organizing your meals should be at the top of that list!  Learn to cook new dishes and do it together to raise an otherwise ordinary task to a more romantic experience.  Taste sexy flavors like chocolate covered strawberries, and increase your senses with aphrodisiacs like pomegranates and vanilla!

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7.  SWITCH UP THE CONTROL:  If one of you is always initiating sexual encounters, then it’s time to switch it up.  Have a chat about a dominance role-reversal and see what it’s like on the other side of the playing field!  Sex can get stuck in a rut with the same kind of intiation, same positions, same person “in charge,” and you need to shake it up a bit!  Let’s see what the usual-submissive can do when given the power!  You can even introduce some sexy new dominant toys like blindfolds or silk sash restraints to aid in your role reversal playtime!

8.  TRY A TOY:  If you, your partner, or both of you have lost some of the excitement that would pull you into the bedroom, try introducing a new toy!  Toys can be the gateway to lots of thrilling new options during sex.  Even those who have never dreamt of sex toys before can enjoy changing it up with a little buzz from a vibrator, or the added sensation of a masturbation sleeve during a hand job.  Think of it as a kind of present that you both get to unwrap as you unwrap each other!  New technologies like the We Vibe 4 can be felt by both partners during sex!  What an experience!

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9.  SLEEP HARD:  Changing your sleeping patterns can also have a drastic effect on your sexual health - both positively and negatively.  If you are feeling too exhausted to spend a few extra minutes making out with your significant other, you may need to reevaluate when and how you sleep.  Your bedroom should really only be a place for sleeping and sexing! Simple changes like adding a fan in your bedroom to provide white noise and a flow of air or adding A/C to create to create a cooler bedroom will help.  Or, add room-darkening shades and wake up and head to bed a little earlier each day to help your snooze patterns!  You’ll be sleeping better in no time, and these improvements will give you more energy and more flexibility to be sexually spontaneous!

10.  GET PLAYFUL:
  What is a relationship for if not FUN!  Don’t ever forget where you came from!  Sometimes the best sexual encounters start with jokes.  Start a tickle fight!  Get to wrestling!  Be SILLY!  Remove yourselves from the same old, same old and explore the world around you by taking trips to museums!  Lots of libraries host free movie screenings and discussions, which might be just the intellectual stimulation you need to flip the switch from mundane to thrilling!  Plan days throughout the month where you take day trips and adventures exploring FUN new experiences.  If the connection between you two is flickering, go PLAY!

Comments

Date 10/9/2014
Jessica S.
I'm a working woman and I agree with these. Stress really kills the mood and if I don't get enough sleep, then the whole day and night is thrown off. These are good tips to remember when my hubby and I aren't feeling up to having sex. Easy remedies.

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