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10 Things I’d Tell A Man Who Rejected My Vibe

Posted by Randa to Women's Issues

This may come as a surprise to some, but most men are not against the idea of their partners using vibrators.  We are reaching a new age; men can see the benefits of vibes for women and not feel inferior to their use in bed.  Unfortunately, not all men are going to jump right into the new wave of sexual satisfaction and may feel uncomfortable with his lady using a vibrator (either alone or during sex).  It’s normal to feel a little strange about sex toys at first, but a man who is adamant that you do not use them is not being fair.  How can he deny you greater pleasure and satisfaction?  Here are 10 things I would say to a man who didn’t want me using my vibrator.

“Uhh, What?”

surprised woman
Via lifetimetv.tumblr.com
First off, I would be shocked.  To me, it should be a non-issue.  Stimulators are becoming a bedroom staple because they come in a wide variety of styles and functions and can greatly improve sexual satisfaction.  Many women enjoy orgasms and even have multiple orgasms when using a vibrator during sex, so to me, he’s just telling me I can’t enjoy our sex life to the fullest.

“Why?”
Sassy woman
Via yourreactiongifs.tumblr.com
I would still want to know why my partner was so bothered by vibrators and see if we can work it out.  Maybe he’s never been with a woman who uses vibrators before.  Maybe he is afraid I wouldn’t be focused on him.  Maybe he thinks it means he’s bad in bed.  Whatever his reason, I might be able to dispel his anxiety!

“Let’s Discuss The Facts.”
Frustrated woman
Via yourreactiongifs.tumblr.com
Knowledge is a cure-all, and if he is willing to listen, I would be willing to tell him what vibes are all about.  He might not know female anatomy well enough to see the importance of vibrators.  He might not see that they are tools – not lovers, not replacements, but simply sex tools.

“Will You Give It A Chance?”
Woman come hither
Via anzie.tumblr.com
If he really cares about making the relationship work, he would at least try it so I could show him how totally great it is.  I would start with something simple and non-intimidating like a bullet vibe and let him experience for himself just how much it can enhance sex for me!  If he was feeling a little comfortable, I would even let him use it on me or control the vibrations.  Most people are not instantly sold on the idea of vibrators until they TRY THEM.  It’s just like trying new foods.  Give it a taste; you might discover your new favorite food!

“Who Gave You The Right?”
Upset woman
Via yourreactiongifs.tumblr.com
I am all about compromise and partners making one another comfortable, but vibrators can give women MORE orgasms, and refusing any lady that possibility is villainous.  It’s hard enough as it is for the average woman to reach climax, and to take away the sex tools that make it easier is not cool.  No one is in charge of me or my body!

“You Must Not Love Me.”
Disappointed
Via depressed-reaper.tumblr.com
This one might sound a bit harsh, but any guy who completely rejects the idea of me using a vibrator must not care very much for me or my needs.  Sexual pleasure is important, and if my partner was totally against enhancing my experience, he probably isn’t the one for me.

“That’s Not Fair.”
Woman upset over vibrator
Via josert.tumblr.com
If you are in a relationship, you have to be willing to change to some degree to make it work.  No couple is instantly harmonious, and depending on how you handle disagreements will determine how harmonious your relationship becomes.  Tossing my vibes is out of the question, and if he is incapable of seeing it my way, he’s not the kind of person I want to be with.  If it helps me and gives me more pleasure, he’s not being fair!

“You Are Controlling.”
sassy free women
Via jenna-haze.tumblr.com
Any man who tells me that I can’t use my vibrator is probably a total control freak.  That is right up there with “I don’t want you to work” and “I don’t like you talking to your guy friends”.  It’s unreasonable and invasive.  It would be controlling of me to tell a man to not masturbate or to tell him he can’t talk to his friends, because in reality, those things affect me very little but affect him a LOT.  Vibrators are the same way.  Making such decisions for your partner is no way to earn their love and respect.

“I… I Don’t Care…”

Woman does not care
Via bricesander.tumblr.com
This one is also a little harsh, but I’m being honest here; I DON’T CARE!  I would like to work it out, but I’m not going to enter a relationship with someone and allow them to take away aspects of my life in which I enjoy.  Sometimes you just gotta stand up for yourself girl, and if you have a guy who won’t listen to reason, it’s his loss.

“Well, Have A Nice Life.”
couple break up
Via yourreactiongifs.tumblr.com
Honestly, if a man came into my life and refused to even give vibrators a chance, I would just put an end to it right there.  I’d understand if he was a little shy at first or didn’t feel comfortable using sex toys himself, but if using a vibe is the dealbreaker, the deal is broken.  I doubt that there are many, if any, couples with this one single problem.  There are bound to be others if one partner is this controlling, and if I didn’t stand up for myself, I would give up just about all of my power in the relationship.  I would save us both the trouble and walk away.

Final Thoughts:  Every couple is different and will deal with such issues in various ways.  If your vibrators are important to you and bring you awesome pleasure, you should try to show him your side of it.  Also, if he feels strongly about the situation, try to find out why.  Communication is key.  He might just need to hear your side of it, so state your case.  Most couples in loving, honest, and understanding relationships will never face this problem to its fullest potential because most men – even men uncomfortable around sex toys – are willing to try new things.  But if he won’t budge, you may need to evaluate your relationship as a whole and decide whether or not the trouble is worth it.

Would You Give Up Your Toys?
Let Us Know!

Comments

Date 3/1/2016
Ness
My husband of 10 yrs was nervous about using sex toy s for the 1st time but i asked him to jsut give it a try and our sexlife is great we use sex toys all the time and its alot of fun
Date 3/1/2016
k. t.
NO WAY I wouldn't let someone come in to my life and tell me what I can and can't do with my sex life.
Date 3/1/2016
Robin
idk if my husband felt that strongly about it I would probably give them up bc I love him, but he'd need a very good reason
Date 3/1/2016
steven
I would never tell my wife she can't use her vibrators. She wouldn't tell me to not watch porn or use masturbators. It's a personal choice not one I can make for her. We even use them during sex sometimes and I honestly enjoy it because she cums over and over.
Date 3/2/2016
Max
As an older male I have discovered that toys can enhance your experience. If a woman wants to being something to the game of sex I think it can only enhance what I will enjoy with her. Sometimes I will run across a new item and tell one of my friends about it or bring it to the party when we get to meet. I have seldom been disappointed by bringing something to stimulate her satisfaction and pleasure from toys to lubes.
Date 3/4/2016
Brandon
I've been married for twelve years and lets face it things can easily become dull and boring after such time,bringing a toy into the bedroom can revive passionless sex for anyone wiling and open to try it,a lot of men fear toys because they feel like the woman will eventually want the toy more then them,but that's not the case my wife wants me so much more after a toy because she knows that I'm willing to do ANYTHING to make her happy.Once men get past their own insecurities and try them they will most likely feel the same.so a message to my fellow men give it a go,what have you really got to lose,because if she's not happy in the bedroom then she just not happy period and who really wants a miserable partner.Happy Wife Happy Life.

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