| by
Mikayla
If
you are reading this article then I will assume that either
you or your partner is pregnant! CONGRATULATIONS! This is
a wonderful time for all of you to enjoy. I too am pregnant,
7 months now, and it has been wonderful and scary and exciting
all at once! Many newly pregnant Moms-to-be worry about many
things, and how to maintain a healthy sex life is most likely
one of them.
Will
I be able to have sex? What about oral sex? Will sex be enjoyable?
Will it hurt the baby? Can I use sex toys? Will my partner
find me sexy when I get “fat?” How long can I
have sex? Does the baby know? Will my baby feel my orgasms?
Can my partner cum inside me? What positions work for pregnancy?
These
are just a few of the many questions that will probably race
through your mind – or the mind of your partner –
while you are pregnant. So worry no further, I have the answers
to these questions and more – and I even have helpful
hints to keep your sexual all the way to the finish line!
So, with limited time to enjoy your pregnant state –
let’s get going!
Click on a link to jump to a section or just scroll down to
begin reading from the start!
CAN I HAVE SEX WHILE
I AM PREGNANT?
WHAT ABOUT ORAL SEX DURING
PREGNANCY?
WILL SEX BE ENJOYABLE?
WILL SEX HURT MY BABY?
CAN I USE SEX TOYS WHILE
I AM PREGNANT?
WILL MY PARTNER THINK
I AM SEXY "FAT"?
HOW LONG CAN I CONTINUE
TO HAVE SEX?
DOES MY BABY KNOW?
WILL THE BABY FEEL MY
ORGASMS?
CAN MY PARTNER CUM INSIDE
ME?
WHAT POSITIONS ARE GOOD
FOR PREGANCY?
CAN
I HAVE SEX WHILE I AM PREGNANT?
There is not really an easy answer to that question –
because it is dependent upon your individual pregnancy status.
The basic rule is: if you are having an uneventful and low-risk
pregnancy, then YES, sex is actually good for you.
However,
if you have had bleeding, cramping, past miscarriages or other
problems – sex may be a no-no for you – you will
have been told by your doctor not to have sex – even
if the status is temporary.
So,
if you are newly pregnant and feel great, have no problems,
and have the ALL CLEAR from your OBGYN, then YES, have sex
as much as you want. Keeping in mind that many women have
some light bleeding after intercourse, especially in the beginning
weeks, as the cervix seals and the residual blood works its
way out. IF YOU HAVE BLEEDING AT ANY TIME DURING PREGNANCY
– CALL YOUR OBGYN! They can tell you right away to come
in or not to worry based on your symptoms. Light spotting
after intercourse or exercise is usually normal, but you always
want to call your Doctor.
Now,
you may start out with a perfectly fine pregnancy, and then
have issues with cramping and bleeding later on. Use your
common sense! If you are leaking fluid (amniotic) as in the
later weeks – NO SEX. If you are having contractions
– real ones not Braxton Hicks – NO SEX. If you
are a high risk pregnancy, or have been put on bed rest –
NO SEX. Your OBGYN will instruct you – but if she or
he doesn’t, and any of these aforementioned events are
happening – NO SEX and CALL YOUR DOCTOR!
Always
remember to be especially careful to be CLEAN, to PLAY CLEAN
and to wipe up and go to the bathroom BEFORE and AFTER sex.
You do not want to have a yeast or bladder infection with
the pregnancy – and this happens more frequently during
pregnancy. So, always clean up yourself.
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WHAT
ABOUT ORAL SEX?
Keeping in mind the same reasons to not have sex, the same
issues for oral sex apply. Oral sex is considered perfectly
safe during pregnancy – as long as you have the OK to
have sex in general. There are a few very important things
to remember, however, if your partner is planning on going
down on you during this period.
(1)
As with Oral Sex when you aren’t pregnant, NEVER, EVER
BLOW into your partner’s vagina. This is especially
dangerous during pregnancy. Always suck IN, never blow OUT!
(2) Your taste is likely going to change during pregnancy.
You have a rush of hormones; you take special vitamins, eat
more healthfully and drink more water. All of these things
can make your taste change a bit. Partners, be forewarned!
(3) In mid to late months you will most likely have a thick,
sticky discharge that is COMPLETELY normal and is supposed
to happen as the baby grows and puts more pressure on your
nether regions. This discharge is often not appealing to many
partners – and may signal the end for THEIR oral sex
desires. This is a personal choice – if you are having
a lot of discharge – clean up before sex and try to
get some of that discharge out.
(4) If you are having bleeding or fluid leakage – do
not engage in oral sex. The chance for bacteria to grown and
travel upwards is greater when there is leakage or bleeding.
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WILL
SEX BE ENJOYABLE?
The answer to this question is also dependent on your individual
pregnancy situation. For most women, sex becomes MORE enjoyable
– as the orgasms during pregnancy can be much easier
to achieve and can be much stronger. The combination of hormones
and extra blood flow to the vagina make the clitoris engorge
much easier and become much more sensitive. This often leads
to powerful and multiple orgasms! So, for these lucky ladies,
sex is AWESOME during pregnancy.
For
some women, however, the desire for sex is gone, they are
constantly in pain due to the moving of the muscles and bones,
they may have hemorrhoids or vaginal varicose veins that are
painful – and for all of these reasons DO NOT want sex.
This is a woman’s call – and pushing her at this
point to have sex is really unfair. I would suggest, however,
if your discomfort is just from the normal moving and adjusting
of your pelvic region, to give sex a shot. Sometimes the hormonal
rush of an orgasm can calm you and make you feel better. At
that point, any relief is welcomed.
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WILL
IT HURT MY BABY?
The answer to that is “NO” – sex in and
of itself does NOT hurt the baby. As aforestated, the only
time that sex could hurt your child is when you have intercourse
when advised not to – this could cause miscarriage or
preterm labor – and that COULD hurt your baby.
In
normal pregnancies, sex is often something the baby likes.
Not the act itself, but more the contractions during orgasm
and the gentle rocking during sex. It is soothing to the baby.
The baby can also sense a calm, serene feeling in his/her
mother when she is happy and feeling loved. This positive
inner feeling can only help the baby feel loved and secure
as well.
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CAN
I USE SEX TOYS?
Basically, “yes” sex toys are OK to use –
if you use common sense. You may want to ask your doctor before
engaging in sex toy use – just to be OK. My OBGYN told
me that normal sex toy use was OK, but gave me some guidelines
to abide by. First, ALWAYS use a clean, anti-bacterialized
toy. Cleanliness is very important now. Second, don’t
play too rough. Most toys are harder than a penis –
so you want to avoid banging it hard against your cervix.
This could cause bleeding. Third, stay away from toys that
are too big, or too rough. The last thing you want is an injury
down there. It is a tender spot in general, and becomes more
so when pregnant – so save those for after pregnancy.
Fourth, use common sense. If it hurts or is uncomfortable
– STOP. This rule goes for all sex in pregnancy.
While
my OBGYN and I talked about this, you may want to consult
your own doctor. It is so important that he or she knows what
is going on with your body – and that includes using
a sex toy.
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WILL
MY PARTNER THINK I AM SEXY “FAT?”
Ok, first – you are NOT FAT – you are PREGNANT!
This is something that every pregnant woman needs to know
and to embrace! You are growing a life inside you –
and that comes with the price of an expanding waistline and
bigger boobs! While it might FEEL like you are fat, you are
not – you are a beautiful, glowing, pregnant woman –
and that is sexy!
What
your own partner will think is based largely on is perception
of you as a Mom. Many men have issues with having sex with
their pregnant mates once they begin to show. It is not necessarily
that they are no longer attracted to you, but that the BABY
is now VISIBLE! They have a keen awareness that the baby is
under your belly – and they may have fears of hurting
the baby or leaning on the baby. Men are human and have thoughts
and feelings just like we do. They need reassurance that we
are OK, and that the baby will be OK too. If we can convince
them that we want sex, need sex, want them, need them –
and that the baby and WE will be OK, then most men can then
find the pregnant momma very sexy.
There
are those few men who are turned off by the big belly, or
the stretch marks, or even the bigger boobs. My advice to
those men? GROW UP! Seriously, I know your partner may have
been super petite before she got pregnant, but she is not
sitting in a corner eating bon-bons – she is growing
your child inside her body! Look at the miracle of that, and
look at her as the miracle she is!
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HOW
LONG CAN I CONTINUE TO HAVE SEX?
This answer is also conditional on your own pregnancy status.
In a normal pregnancy with NO issues or fear of pre-term labor
– you can have sex up until the day you deliver –
or until your water breaks! Once that bag of waters has broken,
there is fear of infection – so NO sex after that. Many
women have sex more at the end because their hormones are
racing and they want to get some sex in before baby comes.
Or, they are trying to induce labor through sex.
If
you are having complications in your pregnancy, sex may be
a no-no for you. This is where your OBGYN needs to inform
you of what you can and can not do. As long as you are having
regular visits with your OB, she will tell you if it is OK
or not.
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DOES
MY BABY “KNOW?”
No. Your baby is encased in a fluid filled sack, in the darkness
of your womb. He or she has NO idea what sex is, or what you
are doing. They can not see the penis in your vagina, have
no idea what words you are saying – although, they can
hear you later in the pregnancy – and have no idea what
sex is.
What
they do sense, is the rhythmic rocking in their little home
and most likely feel the contractions from orgasm. This is
all perfectly happy and safe for your baby – and probably
a relaxing time for them as well!
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WILL
THE BABY FEEL MY ORGASMS?
As discussed, yes. However, to him or her, it is just a little
contraction outside of their amniotic sac. It does not “crush”
them, it does not disturb them. Orgasms are soothing, and
many babies are very inactive after orgasm due to the contractions
lulling them to sleep.
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CAN
MY PARTNER CUM INSIDE ME?
Yes and no. Again, with a normal pregnancy when sex is permitted
– yes, your partner can cum inside you. There is no
danger of pregnancy (already there) and this is a time when
most couples enjoy having that freedom. Not worrying about
birth control or unplanned pregnancy is a gift that only being
pregnant can deliver – so enjoy it!
Now,
if you have been advised that you are at a risk for pre-term
labor, you may want to refrain from sex – or if given
permission to have sex – refrain from ejaculation inside.
Semen contains certain biological chemicals that naturally
thin out the cervix. If your cervix is already effacing (thinning
out) and the doctor wants you to wait longer before going
into labor, then you need to NOT have sex and not ejaculate
inside your partner.
In
fact, in some pregnancies where the baby is overdue, the OBGYN
will suggest sex with ejaculation to try and hurry the labor
along. This is something that is individual for each person
– and does not always work – but many swear by
it. So, again, check with your OBGYN.
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WHAT
POSITIONS ARE GOOD FOR PREGNANCY?
Well, in the beginning months when you are not showing, ANY
comfortable pre-pregnancy position is great. Many mommies
have no discomfort so any position works equally well now.
If you are uncomfortable – then find a more comfortable
position.
Now,
after around the 20th week, lying on your back (flat on your
back) is not advisable. As the baby grows larger and puts
pressure on your vena cava (the main artery supplying blood
to you and baby) you will want to stop sleeping on your back,
exercising on your back, and having sex flat on your back.
If you would like, propping up with pillows can be an acceptable
way to do it, although many women find the angle a bit odd.
Side
by Side
Either in the spooning position, where your expanding belly
is facing away from your partner. This is a cuddly position
that most women love during pregnancy. Or, you can just lie
partly sideways, and have your partner still enter you facing
you. While this may take some adjustment, many women like
to see their partner.
Doggy
Style
If this is comfortable for you, doggy style is a great position
– especially if you put a few pillows under your belly
to support yourself. This way, your partner gets great penetration,
you get the benefit of your G-Spot being rubbed, you can probably
still give yourself clitoral stimulation, and the baby is
out of the way.
End
of the Bed
If you can scotch your bottom to the end (or side) of the
bed, prop up your back a bit with pillows, and have your partner
hold your ankles, this position is great for sex. This also
opens you up for clitoral stimulation; you can look at each
other and even kiss – if baby isn’t too big yet.
Ride-Em
Cowgirl
While you may feel HUMONGOUS and heavy, you are not as heavy
as you think. Getting on top and slowly lowering yourself
down in the Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl position can be a great
way to maintain speed and depth while keeping your baby bump
out of your way. Just make sure you are supported and won’t
fall off.
The
X-Factor
This position won’t work for the last months, but during
the first few it was a favorite of mine. Have your partner
lie on the bed. Then, you mount him and then slowly recline
to a lying position (before 20 weeks) or a propped position
(after 20) and then just slowly grind into one another. This
position gives you shallow penetration, but it is right on
your G-Spot. Your partner can stimulate your clitoris and
you can have a nice, slow night of sex this way.
Sit
Down and Take It
If your partner sits on a sturdy chair or the couch, you can
sit atop him and ride him up and down and back and forth while
he supports your arms. These positions are great in middle
months and take all the pressure off the uterus.
Up
Against a Wall
If your heights are compatible – you can press against
a wall and your partner can lift you up enough to enter you.
If you feel off balance, then avoid this position.
Bend
over Baby
Finally, one of my hubby and mine’s favorite positions
is to have me just bend over the edge of the bed or the couch
and he enters me doggy style. I can spread my legs for the
appropriate height, I have the couch or the bed to stabilize
me, he gets great penetration, and we both enjoy having that
full experience. This is often best for the last weeks.
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DISPELLING
THE MYTHS
I hope this article has answered the questions that YOU might
have had about having sex during pregnancy. I know this time
can be tentative for you that is why maintaining a healthy
sex life is important. Having that connection, being with
your partner, and not withholding for 9 months is so important.
Also,
much like sex, masturbation during pregnancy is safe and healthy
in all the times that normal sex would be safe. Do not give
up your urges, satiate them! Sex and orgasms are great for
pregnant Mommies – and we deserve the fun too! We are
pregnant – but not dead – so as long as your OBGYN
says it is OK – then go for it! It will be a much more
enjoyable 9 months!
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