| by
Mikayla
STEAMY SENTIMENTS
OK, so now we have established the right time and that we
are NOT going to read a script from our notes. So, what DO
you say and how DO you say it? Well, while I will say that
your own personal style and imagination factor in here immensely,
I will tell you at the same time that there is a good way
to have phone sex, and a bad way.
Here are examples of each:
BAD PHONE SEX:
“Hi Honey, are you horny”
“Huh? What did you say?”
“I said, are you horny?”
“Uh, I guess so, are you?”
“Yes.”
“OK, we are both horny, now what?”
“I don’t know, what would you like to do to me?”
Why is this bad? Well, the first thing out of your mouth should
NOT be “are you horny?” What is your lover supposed
to say? He or she is away from you, and admitting that they
are horny? Awkward. Then, after there is admittance to being
horny (which is probably not true) then the initiator drops
the conversation on the other person, expecting him or her
to pick up the slack. It doesn’t work this way. When
you initiate phone sex you have to be ready, willing and able
to continue the conversation.
GOOD PHONE SEX:
“Hi Honey, how was your day?”
“It was OK, how was yours?”
“Long, I really miss you when you are not here.”
“Yeah, I miss you too honey. I am sorry I have to be
away.”
“Don’t be sorry, it makes me miss you all the
more – and in more ways than one!”
“Really? In what ways do you miss me?”
“I miss kissing you when you get home. I miss smelling
your cologne on my body all day. I miss the prickly hairs
on your chin as you rub against the back of my neck. I miss
you coming in the my nightly shower. I miss a lot of things.”
“WOW. I miss kissing and touching you too – and
the shower thing!”
“Do you realize if you were here right now that we would
probably be IN the shower together, getting all soaped up,
rubbing against each other, feeling you get hard behind me
as you soap up my breasts?”
“Oh, now I really miss you!”
“Well, just because we are apart, doesn’t mean
we don’t have memories. I remember how your hands feel
as they brush over my nipples, making their way down to my
freshly, shaven self that aches for your touch. I can feel
your fingers and hands caressing me, teasing me, making me
want you.”
The reason that this is good phone sex is because the initiator
did not begin with the sexy stuff, but instead asked about
his day, then just stated that she missed him. Then, simply
stating her true feelings about what she misses when he is
away is enough to get the erotic thoughts going. While it
might be a slow start, you can easily see how this conversation
was going to get hot and heavy really soon – hopefully
with some reciprocation from her lover.
THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE
In the previous example, the language is sensual, but not
overly sexual – yet. What makes good phone sex is the
mix of sentimental images amongst the more sexual connotations
–i.e. the teasing hands in the shower. While these basic
thoughts are sexy and erotic, true phone sex takes it up a
notch – or two – and gets down and dirty. How
dirty is really up to you.
Some suggestions that I have for couples who are new
to phone sex are:
Don’t rush it! Start of slow, ease into the more sexual
discussions. Don’t try to go from an erotic thought
to I want to “bang your brains out!” This is a
forced image and doesn’t work well with the way the
mind works. This is literally a “mind-f*&ck”
and as such, both people have to be in the zone with one another.
Take Turns: While it might be more comfortable
for one person to lay back and listen – true phone sex
should have an exchange of ideas and thoughts. A back and
forth banter of erotic images, thoughts and feelings. Once
the conversation heads toward phone sex- let the other person
talk! Try to engage their sensual side as well.
Vagina? Penis?: Listen, phone sex is a mental
image – and while this image can be achieved with “chaste”
words and “proper” terms – I guarantee that
the session will be more successful if you use “bedroom
talk” instead of medical terminology. While this may
be very, very hard for some people (especially women) it will
work out better. Getting a little dirty in your talk can bring
this experience to the new level. So, call it what you do
in your deepest, most unreserved mind – breasts become
tits, a penis becomes a cock – you get my drift!
Touching?: While masturbation is not a requirement
of phone sex – why not do it? If you are truly aroused,
and thinking about the things you are discussing on the phone
– then why not take it to the next level and touch yourself
while you are describing touching yourself? First of all,
it feels good. Secondly, your lover is going to ask you if
you are touching yourself – why lie? Thirdly, if you
are masturbating this adds not only to the way you feel, but
how you are going to respond! Statistically, women talk much
dirtier when they are aroused – so get AROUSED! This
will only benefit both of you – and give you the release
you need!
How to End: Remember that you are NOT the
only one in the conversation. If you are in mid talk and orgasm
– don’t stop! Your partner may be far away from
that moment. If both of you have climaxed, don’t stop!
Try to think of this as a real sexual experience. Be warm,
sentimental and nurturing of each other. Phone sex is much
more than just getting off!
TRY IT, YOU MAY LIKE IT
While these are just a few suggestions to help those who are
interested in having phone sex, the sentiments expressed here
can be used in our daily lives when are lovers are near. Remember
to tell your lover what you love about them. What has made
you tingle with anticipation from your last sexual encounter?
Let them know what you miss when they are away at work for
the day – not necessarily on a trip. Remind each other
of what you find sexy about them – and what you would
like to do to them tonight!
Being like this with your partner steps up the relationship
in general – and makes it more loving, caring and erotic!
You can even take these suggestions to their PRIVATE (not
work) emails, or leave them erotic messages in their briefcases
or purses. These suggestions are good for all couples –
not just long distance ones.
How you decide to do it is truly up to you – but always
remember to be true to your feelings, never be embarrassed
about what sexual feelings you are having, and be in a connected
relationship with your lover at all times! This makes any
relationship better – long distance or not! Everyone
can learn how to have phone sex, email sex, cybersex or “sexy
note” sex – and everyone SHOULD!
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