by Mikayla

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TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
While you may feel that you have learned all you need to know about masturbation – I encourage you to read on anyway – you may learn a new trick or two.

The first thing to remember when it comes to masturbation is to give yourself TIME and PRIVACY. While some women can masturbate to orgasm in a few minutes on their lunch breaks, I always recommend that masturbation become a sort of ritual – a self-pleasuring ritual.

Rule #1:
Be comfortable: I always suggest that a woman get COMPLETELY naked before she begin her masturbation session. Having your body completely accessible for play is the best way to go. Also, the act of removing all your clothing can be very arousing in and of itself.

Rule #2:
Privacy: Find a time and place when you can take as much time as you would like without interruption from children or other obligations. Make sure you are secure and private and can be naked without fear of being caught. Bathrooms and bathtubs can be the best place for masturbation – especially if you have young children.

Rule #3:
Time: Along the same lines as rule #2, having the TIME to play is instrumental to letting go of stress and achieving that zen state that you so desire. Trying to fit in masturbation between dinner and bedtime is not the best thing to do – get private, alone TIME.

Rule #4:
Ambience: Yes, it is as important to surround yourself with soothing sounds and sights as it is to be naked and comfortable. Remember, you are seducing yourself, so lighting candles, playing music and dimming the lights can do wonders for your arousal state. Or, if you get into it, an ADULT DVD might just get you hot and ready and give you some personal fantasy time.

Rule #5:
Patience: Remember, this is YOUR time, do not feel pressured to achieve orgasm in 2 minutes – play, touch, tease and tempt yourself to orgasm. Do not put any high expectations on yourself that might endanger your results. Relax!

Now, once you have achieved Rules 1-5, you can proceed to masturbating. I mentioned above that the clit is a woman’s “hot button” – and this is true – but the last thing you should do is go directly for the clit. Confused? Well, if you go right for the clit you may have an orgasm, but then all the prep-work is almost for naught.

Instead, start by pleasuring your erogenous zones. Play with your breasts, pinch your nipples, run your fingers up and down your belly and thighs. Take time to touch you as you would imagine the best lover in the world would touch you. Close your eyes, feel your body come alive with each touch. Take time getting to your vaginal area. Take the time to get aroused – you have time – use it.

When you are ready to touch your vagina, try doing something different. Pull on your vaginal lips, run your fingers up and down your slit. Feel the moistness as you become more and more aroused. Open up your labia (lips) with one hand and feel around with your other. You might want to use a finger and gently insert it into your vagina. Do what feels good to YOU. Then, when you feel aroused and ready, start to touch your clit.

SIDE BAR: Since this is an educational article, I want to take a moment and describe exactly where the clitoris is, just in case some of you who may be reading this are unfamiliar with its location. The clitoris is a small “button” that is located at the top of your vulva (top of vagina, toward the belly) that hides underneath your labia. This clitoris engorges with blood when you become aroused, and it becomes a little more noticeable at this point. All women have different clitorises. Some are large, some are small, some are prominent, some are more hidden. Whatever your clitoris is like, it is the key to your arousal.

OK, back to the article. So, when you are ready, touch your clitoris. Do not start rubbing it as hard as you can right away – delay the moment. The build-up can be almost as good as the orgasm ladies! Rub it in circles or up and down – whatever you like – then STOP and do something else. Pull your lips again, touch your breasts, finger yourself. Then, go back again with more aggression. The idea here is to seduce yourself into a frenzy.

When you feel like you are ready to finish and climax, try some of these tried and true techniques to finish:

Open your vaginal lips wide with one hand (this allows the clitoris to be more exposed and the skin around it becomes tighter) – as you hold yourself open with one hand, use the other hand to rub your clitoris directly. You may like a finger rubbing, circles or even the whole palm – do what feels good and switch it up,

OR, you can use your fingers of one hand and insert one or two into your vagina, while rubbing and caressing your clitoris. Having something to insert (toy or fingers) can really add to the stimulation (more on this soon).

OR, you can think outside the box and hold yourself open while lightly tapping or slapping your vagina and clitoris. Once engorged, the clitoris becomes extremely sensitive, so light tapping can create a tremendous build-up and release. Try it, you may like it – and then, you can share that secret with your lover!

The main commonality here is to do what you like, what feels good, and what will get you to climax the best. Not everything works for every woman, so try a bunch or a combination of techniques.

SEEING IS BELIEVING
If you are a woman who is a bit naive about masturbation and her body (or even if you are not) this next suggestion might really enlighten you on the joys and mysteries of your body. While this might seem strange at first, I assure you, it is something many, many women have done – including myself.

I suggest that after completing the rules, get yourself a mirror (preferably full length) and position it where you can get a good view of your vaginal area. Take a moment to look at the beauty and uniqueness which is your private area. Open your vaginal lips – pull them – watch them stretch. Put a finger inside and see the wetness you produce. See if you can see your clitoris. It is all a mystery of human sexuality – and it is your mystery to unfold.

Then, while you masturbate – watch yourself. See how your vagina changes, swells, gets red and engorged with blood. Watch your clitoris getting bigger – ready for climax. Watching the physiological change in your body as you pleasure yourself can be extremely enlightening as well as arousing. For many women, this can be one of the best ways to get to climax. If you have a better understanding of what your body does when it is stimulated you can appreciate the delicate balance of touch and pressure. You can even relay this to your lover – or simply enjoy the miracle of arousal.

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