by Mikayla

Ladies, let me ask you a question and please, answer honestly: how many of you masturbate on a regular basis AND how many of your masturbation sessions are fulfilling? Ok, so that was technically two questions, but they do go hand in hand. The reason I ask this is, when I discuss sex and masturbation with my girlfriends, about half of them say they do not masturbate or do not enjoy it when they do. I am APPALLED at this ideal – that my hip, educated and sensuous friends do not know how to render self-pleasure!

So, if you are not masturbating – why not? Do you feel like it is “wrong” or bad? Did your parents or some other influence in your life tell you it was dirty? Or, do you have a partner now and think that it is no longer necessary? OR, do you not feel fulfilled when you masturbate – like it is a lot of work for not much of a bang? These are just a few of the reasons that I have heard from my friends, or on the discussion board, and let me tell you, these may seem like valid reasons but really they aren't.

It is clinically and medically proven that masturbation (for both men and women) is natural, healthy and very good for you mentally and physically. How so you ask? Well, when we masturbate the orgasm that comes from it releases a hormonal rush that ultimately produces a calming, stress-relieving effect. Furthermore, masturbation helps us to keep our bodies tuned – and helps us to connect with our SENSUALITY and our SEXUALITY. If we do not know how to pleasure ourselves, then we can not tell our lovers how to do so.

This article will help to dispel some common misconceptions about masturbation AND it will include helpful hints, tips and techniques for Female Masturbation. This is extremely important for EVERY woman to read, because even if you are masturbating, you may be doing it wrong (yes, I said WRONG), or may find a way to pleasure yourself better. So, get out a pad and pencil and take notes ladies, this might be the best class you will ever take!

SEXUAL SINS
Many men and women feel that masturbation is wrong because of a strict religious background and upbringing – mainly Catholicism. While I could go on and on about this subject and even include Bible passages that clearly state that admiring one’s own body and nurturing a sexual spirit is acceptable, I will not spend the much needed space here to make the argument.

The fact is, masturbation is the safest sex one can have. It is not religiously WRONG, nor is it against God. While I realize that if you have been conditioned to believe that masturbation is wrong, it might take more than my word to make you feel better about it. I encourage you to talk to your priest or religious representative. Or, if you feel unnatural about such a thing – you can read up on it online.

The basic premise of our life here on earth is to do things that make us happy and content (while being good, productive human beings) – and masturbation does indeed help us to do that. It helps us to relieve pressures, teaches us about our bodies, and prepares us for our future love life with a partner. There is nothing against God in those notions.

CAUGHT WITH YOUR HAND DOWN YOUR PANTIES
Perhaps you are one of the MILLIONS of guys or gals who have been caught in the act of masturbation. While admittedly this can be HUMILIATING – it is not your problem to deal with. Masturbation is a natural part of adolescence, and how a parent deals with this can frame that child’s sexual identity forever. While it is most definitely a shock to open the bathroom door to find your 10 year old daughter perched under the bathtub spigot, it is more important how that scenario is handled.

Many parents simply close the door and perhaps talk to their child about safe masturbation, initiating an open dialogue with their child. Others get angry, upset even disgusted. These parents are grossly misinformed on how to handle sex or masturbation. If you have had a parent react in this negative way to your masturbation, then it is possible that you have a negative perception of masturbation. If your parent told you it was “wrong” or “dirty” and something “good girls do not do” - you may have a guilt complex when it comes to masturbation. Let me assure you – this is YOUR PARENT’S FAULT – you did nothing wrong. Do not continue to punish yourself for your parent’s bad call when it comes to your sexual education.

I HAVE A MAN….
One of the most popular reasons women (and men) do not masturbate any longer is because they now have a partner and feel like solo play is no longer necessary. Now, while I realize that your masturbation time might be shortened or less frequent if you are having a healthy sex life with your partner, let me explain to you why masturbation is still essential in a happy relationship.

Contrary to what you may believe, masturbating while you are in a relationship does NOT indicate that you are unhappy or that you are sexually unfulfilled. Conversely, when you are having more sex, your hormones often kick into overdrive and you may want and need MORE sexual release. The urge to masturbate more may be the biggest sign that you are sexually fulfilled – not unfulfilled.

Not to mention, if you are comfortable with your body and pleasing yourself – you will be much more apt and able to explain to your lover how to touch and please you. Women who masturbate on a regular basis know exactly how they want to be touched – what pace, what pressure, and in what specific spots. This can change as our bodies change and we get older – so it is important for us to know what we like NOW – as opposed to what we may have liked when we were 18.

It is not uncommon for men to be uneducated about how to pleasure their women – and if the woman KNOWS how to pleasure herself, she will be comfortable explaining and helping her man. Being comfortable with sex and self pleasure can be the BIGGEST thing you can do to enhance your sex life. So ladies, even if you have a man, and a healthy sex life, do not give up on the self loving – you need it, and so does your man!

ALL FOR NAUGHT…
Finally, perhaps you are one of the women who has tried and tried to achieve climax through masturbation and you just are not able to do it. You think to yourself, “all this work and no reward, forget that!” Hey, I understand, why do something if you get no satisfaction from it. This final section will address this issue and suggest some tried and true tips and techniques that should have you shuddering with pleasure during your next masturbation session.

It is most important to remember that every woman masturbates differently. No, it is true. While we might all use our fingers or a toy of some sort, our overall approach to it is much different than the next woman’s. Therefore, these tips and techniques are designed to help you on your path to self-discovery – that is, help you discover your own road to pleasure.
Now, while all women do have different styles when it comes to masturbation – there is a common rule of thumb when it comes to self-pleasure: the clitoris is the key to orgasm. While I am sure there are a select few women who can orgasm WITHOUT clitoral stimulation, the statistics suggest that upwards of 85% of ALL women need this stimulation to orgasm. So, if you are masturbating and NOT touching your clitoris –then you might have just found your answer!

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