What Type of Sex Life do You Have?

VANILLA OR SPRINKLES

Recently, I had cause to sort of analyze what type of sex lives people have. My friends and I talk about this often – who has the ‘vanilla’ and who has the ‘banana split.’ You know what I mean – how much do YOU do in your bedroom to add toppings to the plain ole’ vanilla sex. I told my friends that I have a whole hierarchy of types of sex – based on certain characteristics, activities and inhibitions. I have always had a fun time telling my friends what type of sex they have (in my eyes) and I thought maybe some of TooTimid’s readers might enjoy my system as well has have some fun figuring out what type of sex life they have!

So, read on my sexy friends and find out if you are living the vanilla lifestyle or whether you have it going on in the bedroom! Remember, this is just for fun, so have a good laugh with your partner when you find out where you rank!

SAFETY COUPLE: These couples are safety addicts. Condoms, dental dams, good hygiene all the way. Never anal, no deep kissing - just the parts mingling. Safe sex. While all couples should have safe sex – following all the important rules to sexual play and toy play – some couples take safety to the next level. These couples would literally wrap themselves in a condom if they could – for fear of actually touching during sex. While I have no issues with persons wanting safe sex – there is a limit, in my opinion, regarding safety. If you are spraying each other down with Clorox, burning your toys after each use, putting saran wrap between you as you kiss, or trying to have sex without actually coming into contact with each other – then YOU are a safety couple!

SHY SEX: The shy sex couples are the ones who want to have sex, but are embarrassed. They always have the lights off, never come above the sheets (sort of Amish-like), never actually SEE the other person. They have a few quick movements and it is over. Shy sex is much like safety sex, but with a few other additions. No matter what body types, these couples always feel like they look terrible naked. They have cutsie names for body parts (put your winky in my dinky), they would NEVER talk during sex – that would be too much, and oral sex is probably out, because they would be too close to the other person’s private parts. They overall feel that sex is an activity that they want to have, but can never fully let go and do.

ON THE SLY SEX: Couples who have sex on the sly are the ones who start out doing something else, then end up having sex. Massages for example. They both WANT sex, but neither will initiate, so one person ends up suggesting a massage. It never varies, and it always leads to sex. Couples who have sly sex will sometimes go a long time before asking for said activity, because they know it will lead to sex, and they do not want to initiate sex, although they want to have sex. These couples spend HOURS massaging each other, inching their private parts toward the other person, totally hoping that they will get the drift and take the bait. Sex for these couples is more of a waiting game, who is gonna fold first and initiate sex. Sex on the sly sometimes even happens without the couple knowing – oooopppps, my winky fell into your dinky.

ANNIVERSARY SEX: These couples save sex for the special occasions. Anniversaries, birthdays and New Year's Eve. There is usually alcohol involved and it is a 'treat' to be jumping in the sack. Most of us think of our parents as having anniversary sex – cause we can’t bear to think of them having sex like regular people. Sometimes these couples ONLY have sex on these occasions, or they may change it up for birthdays and do oral only – or full sex for Christmas. For these couples, birthdays can’t come fast enough and the anniversary is never overlooked. Why do these couples only have sex on the special occasions? Who knows, but when Hanukkah comes around, there is 8 days of FUN to be had.


VANILLA SEX: The Vanilla category has many variables. What is basically means is this couple does the same thing, over and over and over again. There is a discernable pattern to the activities – such as: oral for him, followed by oral for her followed by a little touching followed by sex. Vanilla, no toppings. You can still be in the vanilla category if you have the same routine but throw in an extra activity once in a while. If you use a toy every 4th time or switch positions every once in a while, then you are still vanilla – but perhaps gourmet vanilla instead of generic.

SPRINKLE SEX: Sprinkle sex is basically vanilla sex with sprinkles. What are the sprinkles? Well, throw in some anal, do it in the bathroom instead of the bedroom, change positions TWICE per session – these are ‘toppings.’ Perhaps you watch porn every once in a blue moon or decide to have sex on a Thursday – sprinkles again. The overall gist of the sprinkle category is vanilla sex with some toppings sprinkled in between.

BUFFET SEX: Couples in the buffet line are at least trying different things. They are experimenting with positions, porn, toys and trying to do something they haven't done before. They might have oral sex, anal sex, positional changes, location changes. Sampling a little of everything from the buffet line. These couples have their staple activities – oral, nipple play, missionary sex – but they are willing to sample other things. Sometimes the things they try do not become favorites – but they may be sampled again later. Couples who engage in buffet sex have the most varied sexual lives and are adventuresome. These couples return to the buffet to get their favorite things and as result, rarely go hungry for another buffet.

As you can see, I have spent WAYYYY to much time thinking about the sex lives of other people. In case you were wondering, I have buffet sex. I love to sample new things, and usually add it to my plate on a permanent basis. I think that most of my friends are in the Vanilla or Sprinkle category, but they are aiming for buffet.

It is fun to think of the different types of sex lives – and I am sure there are many others in between. These are my main categories. Do you have a new category? Where do you fall? Do you see similarities in your sex life? Have fun finding out and remember to share with your friends.

(14) Comments • Permalink

• about us
|
• press
|
• join our affiliate program
|
• security & privacy
|
• site map

COPYRIGHT 2000-2008 ATLANTIC INNOVATIONS, LLC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

ORDER BY PHONE 888.660.8970 M-THURS 9:00AM - 5:00PM EST : FRI 9:00AM - 3:00PM EST