Sex (Toy) Education, Or F*ckerware Education
A friend of mine asked if I could host a party at my house for her side business on a Thursday night. Knowing my kids would be at their dad’s house I had no problem opening my home to help her sell what I thought would be jewelry or Tupperware. When she told me her business involved selling sex toys that involved romantic lotions, potions and hardware that required batteries to “do things”, I felt my heart skip a beat as my face turned bright red. Good thing this conversation happened over the phone, it gave me the time to regroup and get a hold of myself. I started thinking, I hadn’t had sex for over six months and my body was screaming out for satisfaction. Could this be the opportunity for the quick fix I was searching for? I decided to step out of my box into my new life and live a little on the edge. Excerpt from my book,
Congratulations on Your Divorce - The Road to Finding Your Happily Ever After.
Three weeks later I hosted a party with approximately thirty very excitable women who marched through my front door with munchies, alcohol and plenty of cash. I knew it was going to be an interesting night when one of my closest friends came in with a fruit salad featuring bananas dressed in different colored condoms. The party started out a bit stiff and hesitant, but, after some food and drink, the ladies were ready to get down and dirty. My hostess started her presentation, and after about a half-hour she crossed over from her lotions and potions to the show-and-tell hardware. She incorporated me into her schtick, which provided much entertainment for my friends as they watched me turn various shades of red.
An interesting transformation happened ten minutes after the hostess started presenting her goodies. Girls started taking notes as if in class and compared firsthand knowledge of things they already owned and would never part with. I felt like I had been living in a cave for the last ten years. The conversation became comfortable, funny and informative. We spoke with such ease that nobody would have believed the subject was sex toys; it was quite liberating. As her presentation was coming to a close, she saved the crème de la crème-the piece de resistance-for the finale. She described a feeling that started from the core of the body, moved slowly but powerfully up and down every extremity into the fingers and toes to produce multiple explosive orgasms. We were all breathless as we watched her turn on and explain in detail this obscene piece of equipment that must have been designed by a woman. She added that this was the type of orgasm that comes along only once in a while when all circumstances are perfect. “But ladies,” she stated, “ it can be replicated any time you want, however many times you want; all you need to do is take home the
Impulse Jack Rabbit tonight.” Immediately girls started to laugh as they raised their hands to confirm that every word she spoke was true.
One girl was brave enough to tell us a story that made us laugh so hard we cried. One night, when her children were on vacation with their dad, she felt a bit restless. She thought about how she might calm herself down when the
Impulse Jack Rabbit came to mind. She spent the night in her bed with her old reliable friend and woke up in the morning feeling refreshed and at peace. Running late for work, she ran out the door, forgetting that the big rabbit was still under her cover. Returning home after a full day, she came home to a clean house and a bed that was made. Every cell in her body freaked. She had forgotten that the maid was coming to clean and imagined the sight of this poor woman stripping the sheets from the bed. She wanted to die of embarrassment as she searched the bed for any possible sign of he friend, but he was gone. Mortified, she knew she had to confront the situation head on, the Jack Rabbit had to be rescued. She approached her housekeeper with a bright red face and apologized for what she left lurking in the bed. Without skipping a beat the woman from South America said, “Oh, don’t apologize, it’s perfectly natural. I have to say I have never seen one quite like that. Can you get me one?”
After two hours of order taking, many a Jack Rabbit had new owners who were anxiously awaiting a quiet moment to experience the ultimate “O,” including yours truly. After experiencing the benefits of this product, it is my opinion that every woman should have at least one experience in her lifetime with this wonderful piece of equipment. Although there will never be a replacement for the real thing, this is a very, very good healthy and safe alternative. I walked away from my little sex toy party feeling quite liberated and normal. It was such a relief to talk to other women so easily about sex and what makes them and their significant others feel good. We all shared excellent stories, techniques and fantasies that helped spark our imagination in our own lives.
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From that night on I was hooked on the idea of sharing this experience with others. I looked into many sex toy companies to affiliate with and found Too Timid.com. Not only are they great to work with, their commission structure is one of the highest in the industry and their products are top of the line. A few weeks later I had my own toy chest to share with women as I started hosting my own parties at my house. Suddenly it took on a life of its own as friends were anxious to have me throw parties for them at their homes. I have such a good time doing it because I feel like I am part teacher, entertainer and liberator. My girlfriend took a picture of me waiving a big plastic penis in my hand talking to a large group of women and she titled it “The New Statue of Liberty.”
Tips on throwing a great sex toy party:
Your first party should be a test run with your close friends. Make sure there are fun finger foods and drinks available with some music before you start your presentation. Your opening line should be something to break the ice by making your audience laugh. Once you have them relaxed, try asking some questions as you present your products to get them interacting with you. Before long you can have women sharing their experiences which lead to learning, laughing and becoming more comfortable with all of the sex toy possibilities….
Become an expert on your products by trying them yourself, you can only sell what you know. Realize that everyone will have their own dislikes and likes so be open to talk about the benefits of products that might take you outside of your own comfort zone.
Everyone wants to feel good and you are in a unique position to “show and tell” them how they can maximize their sexual satisfaction. If you embrace your own sexuality and are comfortable talking about your products in detail, your audience will be receptive.
BE BOLD! People are looking for an excuse to let loose and have some fun. Be that person that helps them step out of their box by educating them on how they can have more fun and satisfaction in the bedroom. You will be their hero and have a great time doing it so go spread the love!
Sexual Survival Question:
What is the primary cause of cervical cancer?
Answer: HPV, human papillomavirus is the primary cause of cervical cancer and it is a very common sexually transmitted disease. Clinical symptoms may be venereal warts on the outside genitalia but most of the time women will be asymptomatic. If a woman has a strain of HPV that is high risk, there is a high likelihood she will develop cervical caner. The good news is that when HPV is detected through routine tests, your doctor will determine the best treatment and follow up care plan to prevent you from getting cervical cancer.
- GET REGULAR PAP SMEARS, LADIES, THEY CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE!-
