How to perform killer cunnilingus
Posted by TooTimid Staff on 6/5/2008
to Oral Sex
I know, you are a MAN and you are thinking, “I don’t need directions on how to give oral sex!” Sure, I know, you are “the man” and oral sex is not a problem for you! However, just like many, many men refuse to stop for directions; many men also refuse to ask for directions on how to please their partners! This article might just be enlightening and informative and tell you a little about what your woman wants without her telling you! Surprise your lover with the oral sex of her life – make her wonder where you learned “that” and make her beg for more! So, open your eyes, your hearts and your minds and prepare for the night – day – or morning - of your life!
WHY LEARN TO LICK?
Some men have never even broached the idea of performing oral sex – or they have and their partners have politely said, “No thank you” to a repeat performance. Whatever your reason for not actively doing this FOR your partner and FOR YOURSELF – this article will help you be the best of the best!
Let me begin by saying for those of you who find oral sex “dirty,” “smelly” or “unsanitary” that there is no cause to feel this way. Statistically, the genitals are cleaner and have fewer bacteria than your own mouth! So, if you are comfortable with kissing, then you can become comfortable with this too. There is nothing dirty about pleasing your lover orally. Also, in case you are one of the misinformed men who believe that a woman’s vagina “smells” bad – let me assure you – the scent that a woman produces is natural, healthy and designed to ATTRACT her man, not repulse him! So, get comfortable and prepared to dive right in!
Now, if you are a man who has had oral sex but has not gotten the “bang your head on the headboard” result that you were hoping for – fear NOT. There are so many tricks of the trade that can help you to have your lover squirming all over the bed, couch or chair! Get a notebook, prepare to print or just mentally ingest the information – it is going to be a wild ride!
One of the biggest mistakes that men (or women even) make when performing oral sex on their partner is to dive right in with the licking. There are so many other ways to tantalize her sacred spaces without your tongue. This is NOT to suggest that your tongue is not welcome to join the party – just try to vary your technique a bit with other options.
Women love to know that when you are down between their legs that you find their personal parts sexy and stimulating. The first way to do this is to become an admirer. That’s right – admire your woman’s vagina. Look at it, run your fingers over it, just comment on it. Let her know how turned on you are by her and her vagina. Let her just lie back and enjoy what you are doing without worrying about doing anything to you. Situate yourself – at least at first – far enough that she can’t reach you. Let her know it is all about HER and HER pleasure, not about you!
Begin with your hands and fingers – squeeze the labia between your fingers. Rub and caress her but do not touch her clitoris. The idea is to so slowly seduce her into a frenzy before you even touch her clitoris. Pull gently on her labia – inner and outer – and just admire how she will begin to moan and move with your touch – silently (or not so silently) begging you to lick her. DON’T! There are more ways to please her than with your mouth – so be patient – and tell her to be patient too.
Run your finger up and down between her labia – don’t insert a finger but instead, slowly tantalize her opening just a bit. The idea is to provide sensations and let her know you are admiring and loving the pleasure you are giving her. Use your hands to grab and caress her thighs, her tummy, and her pelvic arch. Tease and taunt her with your hands. Stimulate her as much as possible without directly touching her clitoris.
When you have sufficiently gotten your partner excited and aroused – it is time to move on to some tongue techniques. This does not mean that you are going to stop using your fingers – you are – but a little lick will do the trick here! Most men seem to want to dive right into licking the clitoris – it is, after all, the love button! DON’T – resist the urge and savor your partner’s other private parts. Lick up and down her labia, in the middle, around her opening. Pay attention to her lips – slowly suck them in. Use your fingers at the same time to caress her, to open her up.
When she is just in absolutely ecstasy – give her clitoris a little lick. Slowly, lick it hard and then STOP again. Move on to other areas again. Then go back up and give it a little suck. Form your mouth into an “O” and suck her clitoris into your mouth. Marvel at how it gets engorged with blood and how she lubricates, showing you how aroused she is!
Now you are ready for some serious licking – but there are rules to this. First, you should never lap at your woman’s vagina like a dog taking a drink! There is technique – a good and a bad way! I know, you are thinking, “but it is called, ‘eating a girl out.’” While this might be some man’s idea of properly naming the event, it surely doesn’t represent what you really should do during oral sex. First, you are not digging in her vagina for buried treasure – you are exposing her treasure “externally” and then getting the reward from within.
Your licking should be like you are eating an ice cream cone. With gentle care – being careful not to push the ice cream off the cone. Use your tongue to taste your lover’s “cream” and to gently give homage to her whole cone – her labia, inner creases and of course – the cherry on top – the clitoris! You would never just eat the center of the cone – but instead have to equally disperse your licking all around the cone. To do this in oral sex – you pay attention to every inch of your woman’s vagina.
CONCENTRATE ON HER CLITORIS
Now, now is the time to concentrate on your partner’s clitoris. Not before, but now! You have to really draw out the process to make her literally and subconsciously beg for you to lick her clitoris. She will be putty in your hands and ready to explode into orgasm.
Begin by giving her clitoris a harder lick – like you are attempting to lick the chocolate coating off your cone. Lick and suck in various patterns. While you are doing this, reach up and fondle her breasts – let her know that you are savoring all of her, and have not forgotten about her breasts. Hold her legs open like you are diving in and have to get every inch of her. Being exposed like this makes most women feel very, very sexy and aroused.
When you sense that your partner is getting closer to orgasm – you can tell by the way she moans, moves or even what she says – then it is time for some finger play again. There are many variations of finger play – and to be a successful lover – and to be invited back to the party – try variations on all of them.
1) Fingers holding the vagina open: It is no secret that holding the vaginal lips open makes the clitoris more “taught” and thereby more sensitive. Many women hold their own vaginal lips open when masturbating for this very reason. You can do this with one hand or two – if you use one hand, use the other to feel her tummy, breasts or thighs. Hold open her vagina and just pay attention to the clitoris – remembering to alternate licking and sucking as well as taking a small break from the direct clitoral pressure and lick up and down her inner crease.
2) Fingers on the clitoris: Many women – including myself – love a finger or a thumb on the clit during oral sex. Especially if your partner likes more firm pressure – your tongue might need a little help. This is not to say you stop licking, you just vary your technique to use your finger or thumb as the main stimulator and then move your tongue around the other areas. This is a good technique if you are getting tired and she is close to orgasm!
3) Fingers IN: By “in” I of course mean in the vagina. Most women report that their most intense orgasms are during insertion and clitoral stimulation. Well, you have the clitoral stimulation down, so why not add the insertion. Use your own common sense when fingering your partner. Not all women like 4 fingers in – at least not at first – so begin with two. Make sure she is lubricated enough (and by now she should be) and slowly insert two fingers into her vagina. This should cause her to gasp with pleasure! Run your fingers around her inner vaginal walls. If she is receptive, use another finger. This is up to you and your partner. Gently move your fingers in and out of her vagina as you lick and caress her clitoris. Ask her what speed works for her. Faster, slower, more fingers, less – pleasing her is your objective here. Most men find the fingering of their partners to be EXTREMELY arousing!
4) Going for the “G”: If you are going to finger your partner then you might want to attempt to stimulate her G-Spot. This little spot is on the upper (tummy) side of her vaginal wall, about 2-3 inches in. When you hit this spot it will feel spongy and rougher than the rest of her vaginal wall. If you have your fingers in – palm side up – and rub on this spot HARD – she will likely gasp with intense pleasure. Even if she doesn’t have a G-Spot orgasm right then, it is nice to try and will feel good to her regardless!
When she begins to reign in her orgasm – which you can tell in a variety of ways – she will tell you, you will feel the PC muscles beginning to contract and release, her clitoris will get hard and large – this is the time to finish her off with a bang!
Begin to lick harder, suck in her clitoris, and use your fingers in her vagina giving her the insertion she wants. Press her legs more open and go for the GOLD! When she begins to orgasm you will feel a contracting of her PC muscles and most likely and increase in lubrication. DON’T STOP! Keep on going and giving her the pleasure until she directs you to stop. In time, if you are both willing, she may begin having multiples – no wouldn’t that be nice?
YOU DIRTY BOY!
Another thing that can greatly enhance oral sex is to use your mouth. No, I know, you ARE using your mouth…. confused? I mean, use your words. Talk dirty to her. What? You didn’t know that could help with oral sex? Well, in an odd sort of way, it can. Think about this: if your partner was giving you a great blowjob and she stopped for a second to look into your eyes and say, “I just love sucking on your great, big, hard…..” well, you get the idea here. Women respond well to dirty talk – most women do anyway. You may want to give it a whirl and if she protests, then stop.
So, what do you say? Well, women love to hear how sexy they are, how much you are enjoying what you are doing, how much you “want” them. Trust me, it is true. I am just one of these women – I LOVE to hear my hubby talking nasty to me while he is down between my legs. There is something about hearing how much he enjoys it that gets me really aroused. I would wager that many women are the same. Give it a shot!
Ok, I know you are wondering, “What does ANAL have to do with ORAL?” Well, let me tell you this, many, many women really enjoy a little anal pressure and stimulation, especially during oral sex. If your honey is up for it, lube up a finger and gently push it into her anal canal during the last portion of your oral sex. This very well may send her up and over the edge! Remember to have your fingernails clipped, always lube up, and stop if she says “no.”
Then, as you are fingering her vagina, take your other hand and slowly insert your well-lubed finger in her anal canal. You can put it in a little or a lot – either way I suggest you at least try it, and let her try it to you also. Prostrate pressure during a blowjob can send you over the edge just as quickly – if not quicker! Don’t knock it until you try it people! Just remember; NEVER put your finger into her vagina after it has been in her anal canal – that would be BAD!!
FLAVOR THE MOMENT
Ok, Ok, so you don’t mind giving oral sex but you don’t have the lasting power your gal would love. Why not try some tricks of the trade to make it a little “better” for you – as if being down between your lover’s legs isn’t treat enough!
If you want to sweeten up your smackin’ why not try an oral sex gel? Oral sex gels are wonderful for men or for women and they really add some taste to your tempting moments. One of my favorite brands is SEX TARTS gel. This wonderfully tart and tasty oral sex gel really packs a punch! If you want to really heat up the moment, try FEMALE PUSSY CREAM. This cherry flavored cream – and as a woman I can tell you that a little added sensation combined with oral sex is phenomenal! Or, if you are an aficionado of cinnamon flavored things, try SEX SWEET LUBE in cinnamon flavor. This sweet and tart lube will really rev your engine!
Maybe you are just looking for something to change up the oral sex routine – well, nothing can do this better than adding some ice to the party. I mean this literally as well as figuratively! If you can handle it – and your partner can – crush up some ice in your mouth before taking the plunge. The coolness in your mouth after and during the ice chewing will bring a whole new sensation to your partner’s sacred spaces. The ice causes the blood vessels to quickly dilate and then your hot breath causes a most unique awareness – like waking up after a long sleep! It is definitely worth a try.
Or, you can use Altoids. No, this is not an “urban myth” but is actually true. If you suck on an Altoid and then go down on your partner, the fumes from the ALtoid can be quite stimulating to her. Trust me, as a woman who has had this experience as well as reciprocated on my hubby, this is a sensation best left for individual interpretation!
If you just love oral sex – and your partner does too – then perhaps you should consider a few, simple toys which can help you with your love fest. Now, while oral sex in and of itself doesn’t have to include sex toys – I am a firm believer that using a small toy during oral sex can really enhance the experience. I would suggest small toys like BULLETS or EGGS. What you would do is commence your oral play as above described and then insert the BULLET into your partner’s vagina instead of your fingers. Not only does this add some good vibrations, but it frees up your other hand to do things like fondle her breasts or play with her vaginal lips. Try it, you might like it and she will LOVE it!
You can also consider using a simple VIBRATOR for insertion. Something like the JOLIE or any other MINI-VIBE – any vibrator that you can insert easily without getting in your way. This is especially a good idea for women who are multi-orgasmic. It allows you to keep going and going and going for a LOOOOONNNNG time!
DOUBLE PLEASURE – 69
As I said in the beginning of this article, there should be times when you just service the needs of your partner – do not jump right in to the “69” position – let her have her moment of pleasure. However, after you have gotten good at oral sex or after the first orgasm, why not go ahead and do some 69 action? You know what a 69 is right? I am most sure anyone who reads this does know. For many women – myself included – giving your man oral while he is giving you oral can be extremely arousing! SMALL CAUTION: many men (God love em’) can’t concentrate on your pleasure when you are giving them a blowjob – and who can blame them? They are getting the end-all, be-all of their evening – sans sex of course!
So, if you find that you are loosing concentration during a 69 and you really need to be more in the moment – forget the 69 – or do it after she has already orgasmed! This will make your woman happier and more ready to give you your pleasure!
I realize that if you are reading this you are concerned and interested in providing your partner with some fantastic oral sex! GOOD FOR YOU! Looking into bettering your technique is a WONDERFUL first step to improving your oral repertoire! There is only one more thing you need to do: ask your woman! Ask her what she wants more of, less of – what you can do better, longer or faster. Women are usually pretty in tune with their bodies, so ask her what she likes! I am most sure she will be willing to tell you! If she says everything is “great” – I implore you to continue and try some of my suggested techniques.
Also PLEASE remember, if you are engaging in oral sex with a new partner – be safe! Use dental dams or an unlubricated condom cut in half and placed over your mouth for safety’s sake. Remember, even the best sex is not worth a disease!
Pleasing your lover is your job as a partner. It is necessary to continue and surprise your partner – to bring something new to the party. If you are willing to put yourself out there and try new things you will always be surprised and overjoyed at the reward you will receive. So, good luck to all who have read this – I hope that it has inspired you to go over and beyond in your next oral sex session with your honey! May you be rewarded with orgasm after orgasm – and then get some for yourself too!
Happy and SAFE playing to all!
Oral Sex Products
Oral Sex Gels
The best form of oral sex foreplay for my wife is to perform the ABC's. That is, start out by forming each capital letter of the alphabet with you tongue. Start with A and move your way slowly and sensuously through the alphabet all the way to Z. Her motor will be seriously running when you get there.
I have turned on a couple of my buddies to this concept and they said their partner wanted to know what they did that was so wonderful!!
I read this article on your website six months ago and my wife is soooooo glad I did! In our mid fifties we are finding more joy from oral sex than twenty years ago! By following the wisdom of this article anyone can become a perfect pussy licker!!!
can you were I can get a penis extensions that I can put on and no one will know that I have it on until its time for sex.
new relationship - older couple - lady finally agrees to open up and invite my tongue to play; however she insists on showering beforehand even though she is perfectly fresh to begin with. I have expressed that I am seeking her scent and taste rather than soap & spray. Is this normal or might it mean she isn't as game for the experience as I am?
It doesn't mean that your lady friend is less willing, she is just very self conscious. She worries that she might not be clean enough or something of that nature. Have you tried telling her that her natural aroma appeals to you? I had a little hang up with this same scenario. My husband actually solved the problem for me when we became intimate. I noticed that he would stop our love play and lick his fingers clean. That small action explained more to me than any words could have.