Posted by TooTimid Staff on 6/1/2008 to "How To" Guides

We were guilty, my boyfriend and I were falling into a rut. Our sex life was becoming mediocre at best, something we promised each other we would never let happen. The daily grind of life, work, and kids was taking its toll on us in the bedroom. Sex was becoming a ten minute missionary experience. After “roll off” instead of “take off,” it was two minutes until we were both fast asleep.

I’m not saying that there is something wrong with quick, comfortable sex but this was the only type of sex we seemed to be having. On the weekends when we had some extra time to reconnect under the covers, there always seemed to be something more important to do. The lack of intimate sex was starting to wear on our relationship. I felt disconnected to my partner and my body was starting to feel cranky and in need of some serious satisfaction.

I started thinking back to the beginning of our relationship when we couldn’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off. Back then sex was fun and filled with energy. I realized part of that was because of the creativity and effort we brought into the bedroom even when we were exhausted. It was then that I realized I needed to do something to jump start our sex life so we could really enjoy each other again. I decided to live out one of my sexual fantasies and it involved temporary tattoos, handcuffs and a sexy porn DVD.

I’m a very visual person; I have always enjoyed watching other couples have sex on film in the safety of my own bedroom. I realized it had been years since I enjoyed this type of visual arousal. It was time to go shopping and my first purchase was a porn flick with pretty people to watch “get it on.” My shopping adventure continued with my purchase of temporary tattoos and a pair of black furry hand cuffs. I already had the whipped cream in the fridge so I was ready to go.

I waited until the weekend so we had plenty of time and energy to have fun. I think the best part for me was changing the appearance of my naked body by pasting on the tattoos in strategic places. I had this cool looking fire breathing dragon that moved from my hip into my sex place. Around my breasts I found some beautiful dangling roses and at the base of my back right above my ass, a very cool biker chic design that gave me some kick ass attitude.

My boyfriend was out in the den watching TV so I walked out with my new raw body and gave him my come hither look. As he followed me I asked him to undress and lay on his back. Much to his surprise, I pulled out my handcuffs which I hid under my pillow and locked him down to my back board. He liked where this was going but I could tell he was a bit uneasy which was a bit of a turn on for both of us. I turned on the DVD and we watched as I used ice cubes and whipped cream to explore his body. The combination of all these new things stirred our senses made our bodies feel supercharged.

I tortured him by denying him actual intercourse and it was driving him crazy. I had complete control over him and I enjoyed taking charge. After awhile he begged me to let him loose because he wanted to touch me and do things to me. I couldn’t resist so I released him from his bondage, and in one swift move he had me on my back and cuffed to the bed. I hadn’t planned on this part; it was a totally different feeling which I was uncomfortable with at first. With his soft sexy words and caresses, my mind and body started to relax and ache for sexual pleasure. I trusted him completely and was able to let myself go. It was great to enjoy doing nothing and having everything done to me. Giving up complete control to my lover was one of the most erotic experiences I ever had. By the time the DVD finished we were sexually spent, the sheets were filled with whipped cream and satisfaction.

It was a great romp in the bedroom, one that was long overdue. Going into the next week with kids, work and life I had a new perspective and energy. I found myself smiling in the middle of the day when I visualized that afternoon. Just the thought of it made me want to jump his bones when he walked in the room.

Tips for fantasy girl:
Share your fantasies with your partner and use your imagination. The best sex happens when you are both comfortable enough to communicate your desires so don’t be shy.

If you are too shy to tell him, step out of your box and just show him by creating your fantasy and I’m sure he will be happy to follow.

Role playing is a great way to add a new dimension to your sex life; when was the last time you played doctor?

Some people respond better from listening rather than watching. Narrate a story about who you are and what you are going to do to him and don’t forget to talk dirty.

If you need an extra little push to step out of your box and have some fun with sex, read this excerpt from my book Congratulations on Your Divorce. This was an interview with a man and the question was about the importance of sex: “I want sex, my body needs sex, and I must have sex. A long-term relationship can’t revolve around it, but I want it to be fun and uninhibited. I think the main element of great sex is great communication. I want her to tell me what she likes, and I need to feel comfortable enough to express my desires as well. I want a woman who is not uncomfortable with her body regardless of her size.”

Staff Picks: Here is a small collection of goodies to enhance your bedroom adventures with your lover, please click here. To view all Games & Toys for Couples, please click here.