It's Sex Frankly
I used to think that majority equaled normalcy and if I weren’t a part of the masses than I was going to be the odd man out. So, like everyone I knew, I laughed at jokes I didn’t think were funny, shopped at stores that were trendy, and never discussed sex.

Sex was something I had, but never wanted to talk about. I was afraid of finding out that I was bad at it and even more afraid to enjoy it. I grew up without siblings to school me on the finer points of sexuality and with parents who blushed at the mere mention of the word. I had sex and kept quiet, but there was so much I didn’t understand.

I threw caution to the wind one night during drinks with girlfriends.

“What’s the difference between a vibrator and a dildo?” I asked as casually as I could.

I felt as if the world had come to a screeching halt and all eyes were on me. I took a gulp of my beer and prayed my friends would ignore my question. I know only a few moments passed, but it felt like an eternity. I shouldn’t have asked the question, I thought to myself. I wanted to crawl under the table and pull myself into the fetal position.

“Basic difference?” my friend asked as she set her glass on the table. “A vibrator is for clitoral stimulation and a dildo gets inserted.” It was a simple answer to a simple question, but for me it opened a door to a whole new world.

I had put aside my awkwardness and embarrassment and in exchange found out something I wanted to know—how to have great sex. I asked questions and listened to advice. I also found a voice I never knew I had with my partners. In explaining what I did and did not like I found myself, for the first time, enjoying sex. I gradually moved from being one of many women who are apprehensive about sex and sexuality to being a woman who applauded it.

So that is what I would like to do with this column. I want to shelve any awkwardness, embarrassment or timidness and discuss sex. The good and the bad, the ins and the outs. I would like to welcome you all to Stimulating Conversations.