Posted by TooTimid Staff on 6/1/2008 to Women's Issues

You and your husband have been exchanging glances riddled with sexual insinuation all day. You’re already getting hot and bothered as you both race to the bedroom. You’re bent over your man going for the gold when the moment goes cold—the baby wakes up and starts screaming. Moment lost.

Becoming a parent has perfected my life. I am loving every thing about it (ok, so maybe not the 3am feedings). What has helped me transition from non-baby life to life with baby is the plethora of information available today. There are books to help combat colicky babies, Mommy Groups to support mom, websites to update you daily on baby accomplishments. All which I use and appreciate. But what about a sex life? I had one prior to baby—it helped produce a baby—and I know it’s possible to have one after baby, but how does one make it happen?

If you were able to continue having sex up until delivery than you really are lucky! For a good portion of us it just wasn’t physically possible. Oh sure you could “play” but that just doesn’t cut it when you’re looking for the real thing. Then of course once baby arrives you’ve got to wait until your doctor gives you the green light to resume all sexual activities (more or less six weeks after baby). So by the time you’re good to go you (and your husband) are just a built up bundle of sexual tension ready to burst.

But how do you make time now that you’ve a little one in the house? That’s just it—you make time. My husband and I realized right away that we just felt very weird being sexual with each other if our son was awake and in the room with us. Through trial and error we came up with some ways to make time for sex.

- We decided to forgo our regular foreplay for now and change it up a bit instead. Because we never know how long our son will “give” us we want to make the most of the time we do have. Foreplay these days happens over the course of the day—playful grabs and well placed kisses build the erotic tension that we used to create right before sex.

- Timing is key. We make sure that all issues are addressed—clean diaper, fully fed, and ready to sleep before we get down to business. A happy baby means a baby who will sleep and a baby who will sleep means a mom and dad who can get busy!

- We’re getting more creative with where we have sex. A rule in our house is you don’t move a sleeping baby, so if he falls asleep in the swing, he stays in the swing. Because our son is a newborn we want to be near him when he sleeps so if the swing is in the kitchen then that’s where the fun will be had!

- The bathroom is a hidden secret. Our son passes out cold with the sound of the shower and the bathroom exhaust fan. We tote him into the bathroom in his car seat and he sleeps while we play in the shower.

The key to success with sex after baby is making time to enjoy your selves. It might seem a bit constricted—planning for sex—but it’s not forever, just while they are very little. Good luck! P.S. Keep in mind you will need to get back to using some sort of birth control. Just because you’re breastfeeding doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant. I have a few mom friends who can attest to that!

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